A very sulky queen may I add.
This weekend of golf was DISGUSTING.
I completely screwed up my game today and it was tournament. I was playing as visitor and registered as handicap 36. Just for the record, I don't have a handicap yet. I'm still a baby golfer. Anyway, today's tournament was organsied by the Bloemfontein Taiwanese Golf Society (something like that). With my crap games on Friday and Saturday, I COMPLETELY lost it today! I could NOT hit at all. I promise you. 9 1/2 out of 10 shots were screw-ups. I have gone from 140-160m on my 6-iron to under 100! I wanted to break my golf clubs by the 6th hole. I didn't know whether to cry or to murder the person nearest to me (my caddy). My confidence was buried a thousand feet under and I think my boss was perhaps ready to slap me from my whining.
I could hear Dr. Golf's voice in my head, "Where has all your confidence gone? Your shoulders are sloping, you are not focusing... wrong! wrong! everything's wrong!"
Wrong? I think that's a damn understatement. It was...... refer to all the vocabs above. I lost my confidence to a point that I played worse to worst. Then my boss was busy telling me over and over again, "Slow down on your back swing! Slow down! Slow down!"
So I tried to play slow-mo on my back swing.
And that familiar voice (my boss) came nagging at me again , "Still too fast! You think you're Nick Price?"
Me : "Good God! I wish I am Nick Price!"
Boss : "Something is wrong with you today. You're just not getting it right?"
Me : "Something? It is everything! Not one thing, not two things, EVERYTHING!"
Maybe not everything. I was actually quite decent on my saves. Did one amazing save out of bunker (the only nice shot of the day) and woohoo.... at least decent putting too. But my irons were INSTANT SUICIDE.
So dump the tournament.
I didn't even take my scores.
And to add salt to my disintegrated confidence, the boss's niece played fantastic!
Another reason to sulk even more.
Two kiddies were playing.
Great players.
Sulk.
So Queen-of-bad-golf is sulking on her couch now whilst watching SA Idols. By the way, have I mentioned that Pume has my vote? Can't tell if she is Black or Coloured but damn, this girl can sing! Goosebumps goosebumps. But I suspect she will not be the eventual winner. May a wild guess why? *snigger snigger*
On the way back from Bloemfontein, got pulled over by traffic cop at 169 km/h.
Mr Cop : "Woah. You know how fast you are driving? 169 km/h."
Me : "No I don't know."
Of course I'm lying.
Mr Cop : "Do you know how much it will cost you for 169km/h?"
Me : "No I don't know."
That's the truth.
Mr Cop : "2,500 Rands"
Silence.
Mr Cop : "You know that it will be court case if you get caught at 171km/h? You're lucky. Miss by 2 km/h."
Like I really care?
With a practised tone of voice, I said, "Can you help me?"
Mr Cop : "How can I help you?"
Me : "Is 100 Rands ok?"
Mr Cop : "100 Rands for a 2,500 Rands fine? No man. More. Tell you what, give me 200 Rands for me and the other guy."
So I gave him 200 Rands.
I was not in my usual haggling mood.
I knew I could have gotten away with 100 Rands but was too tired to blah it out with him.
Lucky Mr Cop.
He got 100 Rands more this time.
MORE SULKING.
Should I burn my golf clubs?
I should, shouldn't I?
Maybe I should just give up playing golf.
Maybe I should really go kill myself.
Very appealing thought.
200 Rands poorer and bad golf.
I'm definitely going on a sulk marathon.
More about the golf than the 200 Rands but what the heck.
A girl never minds an additional reason for being moody.
So let me summarize my reasons for couch-sulking :
- Bad golf.
- Bribing traffic cop with 200 Rands.
- Disgusting golf.
- Being sweetly insulted by the Taiwanese clan about my weight (in simple words, I'm fat). Feel like I need to be anorexic.
- Revolting golf.
- Tried blogging using conventional 56k modem at Little Missy's house only to lose my bitchings because of bad internet connection.
- Repulsive golf.
- Nauseating golf.
- Grotesque golf.
No comments:
Post a Comment