You know how in your mind you THINK you know how you sound like? Like... when you're talking to someone and somehow you THINK you can hear your own voice?
It is so wrong.
Mark my words.
The reality differs from that figment of your imagination.
I received an SMS to inform me that I have a message in my voicemail.
And so I went to retrieve my message.
"Your message to 082.... has not been picked up", I heard the recorded voice blast through the receiver of my phone.
"I left a message for someone? Huh?", I thought to myself.
AND THEN, IT HAPPENED.
THAT VOICE... OH THAT HIDEOUS VOICE....
"Hi! It's me (I learnt 15 years ago that I have a very distinctive voice and people usually recognises my voice before I even introduce myself)! I know that D is with you and I need to speak to him urgently. We have a problem booking in the orders as the DC is full so PLEASE get D to call me back! Thanks!"
I swear in my Chooeypoo's name that I could have smashed my phone at that moment, except that the phone is company's property. I was in a state of shock. It took me a while to recover but when I did, I made another pathetic discovery of my life. Apart from having geometric-shaped face, I have another thing in common with Mickey Mouse - MY VOICE.
I never in all my few strands of sanity ever - and I mean EVER - thought I sounded THAT squeaky and bad. No wonder everyone who knows me hardly failed to recognise THAT voice. A voice like that, who could ever miss it? I got into a comfort zone of thinking that my peev towards voicemails and answering machines related to the whole philosophy about talking to a machine. But when reality of my voice slapped me left-right-up-down-centre into my face, I cringed in recollection of my true phobia towards these voice message things.
I remembered that it was the fear of how I would sound like during playbacks. And most unfortunately, I sound even worse than my imagination led me to believe.
I think perhaps I should check my family tree and trace back my ancestral roots. My eerie resemblance to Mickey Mouse is getting too close for comfort. Coincidence? Maybe not.
Lesson in Life : What you THINK you are may not always be the way you think it is. It is like having your photo taken. In your wild imagination, you may THINK you look a certain way, until you see your own photo and realize otherwise (by then you would have probably smashed the camera). Same thing with voicemails. You don't sound the way you THINK you do.
Key word here is THINK.
THINK only goes to show how warped our imaginations are.
Don't believe me?
Go try it.
Leave yourself a voice message and then playback.
You'll be shocked by what you hear.
Congratulations to those who have a radio voice.
You'll probably love yourself even more now.
For those who THINK you have a radio voice, gosh! You are demented.
But those who might suffer the same unfortunate fate as me, please keep all breakable objects before starting this experiment. The results can be devasting.
One thing for sure, no way in heaven and hell will I EVER leave a voice message.
Never ever ever ever again.
NEVER!
Perhaps I should have been born mute and that would have saved you, my poor poor friends, ear aches from hearing this incessant squeaky Mickey Mouse voice.
And perhaps.... just perhaps... it is time to gag myself.
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