Spanish Conspiracy?

I'm starting to wonder... if cats have nine lives, how many lives do human have?

I am sure I must have lost a lot of lives today watching today's tennis match between Rafael Nadal and David Ferrer.

I wonder how many more lives I have to spare with Hamburg coming up this week and Roland Garros the week after....

Telkom-Italia-ROME - So there's Nadal and there's Ferrer. Two Spaniards playing against each other to clinch a place in tomorrow's final. Nadal lost the first set 4-6 and took the second set 6-4. Then came the third set. Spainwood of tennis. Nadal promptly broke Ferrer's serve and with all constipated determination on his face, there was a glimpse of hope that Nadal will wrap up this match in no time. So 1-0. You go Clammie!

Then Clammie service game. And he played with such laid back disposition, he lost his service game as promptly as he broke Ferrer's serve. Damn it! That was where I started to wonder if the Spaniards have a conspiracy contract somewhere - when playing against fellow Spaniards, create drama and no straight wins. Stretch match for as long as possible. At that point, I had already lost count of the number of lives I'd lost.

So 1-1 (Nadal-Ferrer).

The game went on for what seemed like forever, the two Spaniards playing some Spainwood drama of breaking serve and then losing serve. And there I was glued to my couch, hugging my uncovered duvet, cringing every time Nadal made an unforced error. Damn it! Stop the drama! Just finish the damn Game!

5-4. Nadal held serve.

Ferrer served but played a horrible last game (I think he received signal to end the Spanish Drama) so FINALLY Nadal won the match (despite a nasty blister on the index finger of his playing hand) after 2 hours and 29 minutes. Talk about an exhausting match! The last time I felt such exhaustion watching a match? Federer's loss to Hewitt's clone, Gasquet, in the quarter finals of Monte Carlo. Can I sue the tennis association for shortening my life span?

So here's my theory on Spanish Conspiracy in Men's Tennis -

1. Notice the sudden outbreak of Lefties (Nadal, Feliciano Lopez, Gonzales if I didn't remember wrongly) in the tennis circuit and where are they from? Yup. Spain. I swear that someone from the Spain Association must have discovered, a decade or so ago, that left-hand playing is against the natural flow for the right-handers so they started a left-hand training school. Doesn't matter even if you are naturally right-handed, they can still train you to play left-hand.



2. To dominate the tennis circuit by 2005 with a whole hoard of Spaniards to raise probability of winning more matches and claim title as 'clay-court specialist(s)'. Quarterfinals of current Telkom-Roma - 4 out of 8 are Spaniards. Semifinals - 2 out of 4. So they make the cut of a healthy 50% dominance in the men's tennis circuit.



3. As mentioned earlier, to create as much drama as possible when any two Spaniards are playing each other. No two-setters for any three sets match, and no three or four setters for any five sets match. Make it look oh-so-tough and if it ain't 2 1/2 hours worth of game, don't stop.



4. GRUNT. The louder the better, to add sound effect to the dramatic match. Today's match - First Commentator : "I think Ferrer has won the grunting match." Second Commentator : "On that same note, there are times when Nadal goes completely silent". So oh yeah, the Spanish knows how to grunt. Have you heard Almagro? Good grief! Can this compact size Spanish whine or what! Parental Advise : Put TV on silent mode when Almagro is playing.


Of course, the winner of all ear-piercing is still Maria Sharapova and winner of terror grunt is Serena Williams, but we're not discussing about the bitchy women circuit here.

I'm happy talking about the men.

Any takers on my theory on Spanish Conspiracy in Men's Tennis?

I doubt it but no harm trying... ha!