Maybe it IS time to move on...

Maybe I should not have stayed on.
Maybe I should have just left.
I wonder what I was thinking about when I decided to stay on in this job.
Oh yes... the golf courses.
I'm lying.
I decided to stay on before learning golf.

I love living in SA.
Period.

But how do I justify my stay having zero job satisfaction?

Many THINK that I have the 'IT' (not Information Technology, just IT) job. I do shit-all except watch tennis the whole day, just a couple of meetings now and again.... salary is survivable, almost everything is paid for and self-proclaimed the miserably conjested seats in airplaine as my other bed. So I'm always travelling. I can't deny I enjoy it to a certain extent.... but it comes to a point when it does not make sense anymore.

And Those 9 Months .....
No.
I didn't have a baby.
That's Gerie a.k.a. Fizzy-Mummy.
Whilst Fizzy-Mummy was busy looking like a watermelon, I was somewhere up there.....
Here there and everywhere....

1. End Aug 04 : JNB - SIN - THE BOSS decided he wanted to relocate his family to Singapore. Guess who had to managed relocation? No problem. Just another on of those 10+ hours flight.
   
   But no, they didn't last in SIN. I got a courtesy call just before my next flight that they are moving back to SA.



2. Early Sep 04 : SIN-LONDON-AMSTERDAM (day trip)-BARCELONA-LONDON-SIN - Oh yes. Thanks to one blonde bitch who decided she must explore the world just because it is her first buying trip. Pleasant trip I must say - just shit loads of mood swings from her, pacifying her and arguing over her decision to buy the entire Europe worth of jeans.
   
   Thanks for the reminder why I generally don't travel with females. Bloody pain they can be. 7 kg worth of handcarry cosmetics. Spare me. You're ugly WITH or WITHOUT makeup.
   
   Anyway, I don't travel with her anymore and just for the record, she just broke world record of purchasing 109 jeans in her last buy. I am so sure she did not NOT buy all the available jeans in Europe.....



3. End Sep 04 : SIN-JNB. Flight back home. Abit of a breather here FINALLY!



4. End Nov 04 : JNB-HK-CHINA-HK-SIN-HK-CHINA-HK. Don't even try to understand what happened there. It was not meant to make sense. Just think it as part of the China-Chinese manufacturing screw-up.



5. Mid-Dec 04 : HK-JNB . Back in SA. Breathe for a week. Factory closes.... next flight.



6. Christmas Eve - Arrived in Singapore. Nicest time I had for a long time thanks to Gerie's mum wonderful cooking. Did I zonk out at her place on X'mas eve..... Stayed for 3 days.



7. SIN-Nong Khai - Ha! Surprise surprise... did abit of missionary work here for 3 weeks.



8. End Jan 05 : Nong Khai-Bangkok - Gave a treat to my parents to make up for not spending much time with them. I mean, I was in Thailand already and they do deserve a short holiday.... 1 week here.



9. Bangkok-SIN - Another 3 days here to spend a bit of time with friends.



10. SIN - JNB - Back to SA again. WORK. I was starting to get used to NOT working. 3 weeks in SA.....



11. End Feb - Early Mar - JNB-LON-LA-NY-LON-JNB : Just another business trip. That took up a good 2 weeks.....
    
    Then 1 week of post-trip meetings upon return to SA.



12. Mid-Mar - End Mar : Singapore Golfers arrived. That was approximately 2 1/2 weeks of tour with them. BEST TIME EVER!
    
    
13. 1st wk of Apr : Good 'ol Vinnie came back to SA for holidays and it was weekend in Bloemfontein.
    
    And the following 2 weeks were spent resusitating backlogs. managing work crisis, watching tennis, watching tennis and watching more tennis.... blah blah blah blah blah.



14. End Apr : JNB-SIN - That was when grandma passed away....



15. 2nd of May till now : Back in SA. Only been 2 weeks but feels like 2 years.

I've lost count - or should I say, I never bother to tabulate the number of flights I've clocked. And before you start thinking, "Wow! She must have millions of miles!", I BEEEEGGGG TO DIFFER.

First, try flying Economy (they make it sound nicer by calling it "World Traveller") with British-F***ing-Airways and see how your points crawl. I am sure even the tortoise managed to catch a couple of snooze before reaching the finish line. Except that I'm still far from that silver line. I never moved from blue tier point ZERO. Redeeming miles? That is if I fly another 10 long haul flights with this miserly airline.

Then, notice the locations I fly to? I do not get to stick with one airline for each leg of flight. So there goes my points.... scattered between a few airlines. Airlines affiliation? Yeah... let's see.... Cathay Pacific is affiliated to pathetic BA (I must say this AGAIN. BA has NOT changed their crummy planes from 10 years back), Malaysian Airlines is affiliated to..... none of the airlines I fly with.... Singapore Airlines..... not to BA or CX or MAS either!

So there you go! All that flying for nothing. I can't even redeem a damn free trip at the moment!

I guess the flying wouldn't be that bad if I get a drop dead gorgeous guy sitting next to me. But nope. I either get grouchy old couples, wailing babies or rigid middle age dude who is as rigid as they are frigid. But on the rare occasion that I do get a fairly good-looking guy sitting next tome me? He's married with his wife sitting next to him. And what happens when cute-married-guy strikes conversation? Wifey will be clutching on to him claiming territorial rights. Take it easy woman! Don't break the poor man's arm. You're better-looking than me and have a much greater figure so get over your pathetic insecurities!

That doesn't happen too often though.
I am normally fast asleep before the plane even takes off.

Who Me? Disgruntled Employee?
No no no no no....
So then, what happens in-between my mad flying schedules? That is when the unsatisfying job takes its toll. Get real people! A job in the fashion/retail/manufacturing is the quickest way to disintegration. And I had to make the unfortunate choice of taking my latest employment with the lowest end of the retail hierachy, which is manufacturing.

I think banging my head a hundred times against the wall is not severe enough to redeem the mistake I made. Remind me again why I gave up my job on the buying end? Oh right! To look for the 'alternative' life. An alternative job to the alternative life. I'm getting paid to do nothing most of the time but suffer abuse the few times that I DO work. Today it is "woohoo! I've secured a big order!" Tomorrow it is "Sorry, we are cancelling your order. Management call."

Management?

Man Age-Ment
- Man age from the concrete result of being ruled by bureaucratic bullshit.

I am sure that the person who very thoughtfully discovered this word was either a complete genius or one very frustrated with his/her job.

So thanks to wise management calls that change faster than Roddick serving his aces, it is trauma time for the receiving end.

Employee reported to boss about cancellation.
Boss was devastated.
Boss drilled employee for the next two hours telephonically on how screwed up this customer is.
Employee just "uh and ahh" through the conversation for the next two hours.
Employee told boss to talk to the customer himself.
Boss talked to customer.
Boss called back to customer.
Boss and customer had reached a compromise
(boss's voice always holds more weight than employee's).
Develop new styles to replace old ones, customer will take in stock at a later date...
BY THE NEXT DAY.

So employee started working on her computer.
Employee worked through the night to generate new styles.

No no.
NOT design.
Employee likes to call it "Design Modification for a poor paying customer".

Employee finished new designs by morn.
Employee rushed to deliver new tech-pack to customer.
Customer was happy.
Customer reinstated order.
Customer decided to raise units but wanted to drop the price - that very same invisible price.
Employee conceded.
Employee told boss.
Boss agreed - anything to have the order reinstated.

-- Some days later --

Boss called employee to moan about the price.
Boss asked employee to do the dirty job of calling the customer to ask for a higher price.
Employee swallowed pride.
Employee called customer.
At this point, customer changed his mind again.
Customer decided not to realise the new increased units but wanted to revert to original units.
But customer wanted to give additional units to a new style.
Customer only willing to pay that little bit more.
Employee dutifully took down the information.
Employee dutifully reported to boss.
Boss flipped.
Boss engaged in another two hour talk with employee on the risks working with this customer.
Employee sighed and resigned to her fate.
Employee started thinking, "Time to move on... time to move on...."

Then came the biggest blow for employee.
Employee looked forward to her meeting with her loyal customer.
Loyal customer will not disappoint her.
The products have been selling well....
Surely some form of guarantee there.

Then loyal customer broke the news to employee.
MANAGEMENT decided to give employee's nurtured 'baby' to another supplier.
Employee felt her heart drop.
She had patiently nurtured her 'baby' and now that sales has grown, they are taking it away from her.
Employee couldn't swallow this blow.
Employee drove back thinking, "Time to resign. Time to resign."

Maybe it IS time to on.
Maybe I should give it all up here - the place I love so much.
Maybe stretching past the two-years use by date was a bad idea to start with.
Maybe I should move on to another country.
Maybe I should call it quits and just head back home.

Home?
The place where I barely recognise?
The place where I can't live through a day without bitching at least a hundred times about the weather?
The place where I look forward to going back every year to see the friends that I miss when I'm away but only to realise the drift as each one moves on with their lives?
The place where the only idea of life is work?
The place where I have to bind my free-spirit?
I think not.

Perhaps the only life I know is one of being global drifter.

I'm getting bored.
Very bored.
Need to move on....

Where's that atlast of mine?
Oh yes.
I don't own one.