The signs are showing that I should do a blog on Count Infidel. Been thinking about this topic the past 2 days since I met up with my friend on Friday, only to find out about an infidel husband. And I was channel surfing last night, there it was on Oprah Winfrey Show - "Why Men Cheat".
Seriously now, does a woman really need to know why men cheat? Justification = Excuse. Excuse = Justification. Cheating is cheating. No explanation required. Just a bastardy act of man who wants the best of all worlds. Does knowing help change the situation? Does knowing help the partner's pain of lying next to this cheating soul and worse of all, self-bashing and feeling an immense sense of shame and unworthiness? And men wonder why women are such insecure creatures? When it comes to relationship and men, there's no win for women.
She's strong. I want a vulnerable woman. Cheat.
She's vulnerable . I want a strong and confident woman. Cheat.
She's not satisfying me sexually. Cheat.
She's not gentle enough. Cheat.
She's meek. Cheat.
She's not what I'm looking for. Cheat.
I want some fun. Cheat.
So when is any woman good enough such that a man won't cheat? I will probably put my money on NEVER. Then you will have some genius psychologist who will write a book like "How to Foolproof Your Marriage" and earn millions from it because there are MILLIONS of insecure women out there who are worried about their own self-worth and what they can do to 'foolproof' their relationship. Face it. When a partner wants to cheat, no foolproof plan is going to work. It's like reading that book "He's Just Not That Into You". It's like a fairytale bible for women. On all counts, there will never be one man that into a woman. Just like Mr Pink-Dot posed to me in the context of gay relationships, "Infidelity happens alot in gay relationships. It happens after 2 years so it's the norm."
The norm? It's just the perfect psychological reasoning of "if everyone else is doing it, so it's perfectly okay for me to do it too." Bollocks.
So what even if some genius male psychologist feels for women and come up with statistics to show that 1 in every 3 men cheat AND! That most women do not know that the man is cheating? It doesn't change the fact that a cheat is a cheat is a cheat.... WHATEVER THE STATISTICS may be on why men cheat. If anyone gets the chance, go to oprah.com and try the "Is Your Man Cheating on You" and "How well do you know about Infidelity" quiz. I found it amusing. I never finished it. Based on the question structure, on the former test, I think I know what the answer will be. But you know what, ignorance is a bliss. Just don't bring the f***in' dirty linen back and leave the woman to believe that the world is beautiful and perfect.
The saddest part behind infidelity, is looking at the person sitting opposite you. The emotional turmoil of whether to forgive (and live with it) or to let it go. To tolerate the thought of facing up to her deepest darkest fear of being alone. The pain in her. That pain in her eyes.... Her pain of feeling she's not good enough. Her pain of feeling her lack of self-worth just because her man chose to be with someone else. Her pain of not knowing what to do. Her pain of losing her man. Her pain of wondering what she did wrong. Her pain of acceptance. Her pain of letting go. Her pain of moving on. Her pain of 'what if'. All that pain. It's heart wrenching.
Don't shoot the woman for daring to be real with her emotions.
Don't shoot the woman for daring to be vulnerable and insecure.
Just shoot the woman for being a hopeless romantic.
On all criminal counts in a relationship, infidelity is of the highest (let's exclude murder. that's something else).
Count Infidel is death sentence.
I understand committment but acceptance of infidelity?
I think not.
There is no curious case of Count Infidel.
No why, when, how, what.
No reasons.
No excuses.
No justifications.
It only makes it seem reasonable why a person would cheat on someone else. If logic reasoning can rule over the emotional hurt, then probably the relationship was never present in the first place so perhaps it was better gone anyway.
And that goes for relationships with or without infidelity.
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