A Matter of Sports Fashion Disasters

Is it a sign? Is it a sign?
Is it a sign that I should buy the Honda Accord Type-S?
The latest car ad on ESPN is the HONDA ACCORD (see that beauty on the right hand side) and I feel like it's screaming to me, "Buy me! Buy me!"

And so there I am, drooling and yelling, "I want! I want! But I have no money! Stop enticing me! Arggghhh...."

Now that I've resigned from my job, I need to go on a car hunt. I will have to return the C180 to the company when I leave end of August and I have ZERO idea where I'm going to find the cash for it. I still can't get over that the car loan in SA is at 12.5% interest rate.

So I'm looking at Honda Accord Type-S. Running tap of drool. No money.
Alfa GT. Drool. No money.
Merc Kompressors. No drool. Just practical. Still no money.
Motorcycles. Vision of hippo falling off bikes. No license. No money.
Bicycle. That I can afford.... I think.

OK... depressing financial talks aside. If you have not figured out by now, I am trying to keep myself amused whilst waiting for the 1500 hours US Open Coverage to start. That's another 2 1/2 hours. How sad. I live my life for television.

And so I decided to embark on rants about Sports Fashion.

Not sure how many people follow sports the way that I do.... but isn't Sports Fashion becoming an absolute joke? Just as what Marat Safin once said, "If you are looking for clowns, go to the circus."

But unfortunately, we are stuck with these clowns of sports fashion disasters for a long time to come....

I wonder how much do these sports designers get paid! Ok... I roughly know but I swear they are overpaid for the kind of junks they produce! They ought to get fired. This is really a generation of fashion degeneration of the sporting world! Eye sore. Eye sore.

I understand that pink is the latest fashion colour for a few seasons running but damn it! That colour ought to be banned! It is fine if say it is pink as an accent colour or certain elements of colour blocking but ALL-PINK ensemble? Spare my poor eyes! And worst of all, you have hybrids of hippo-cows (who has cow-hips) like Mauresmo, turning up on clay courts (not like the orange surface is not piercing enough) in BRIGHT PINK tennis dress with matching PINK shoes! What the heck! It is like watching one of my childhood cartoons (Wuzzles? Is that what it's called?) and laughing over the hippo wearing leotards and tutus. Except that this ain't no cartoon! It is a real live hippo-cow in pink.

Then of course, how could we forget Sharapova? Another one who swears by pink... WITHOUT BRA. Every guy's galore but no, I don't think seeing raisin tits sticking out amongst pink is a pretty sight. Bra darling... bra! Wear them before your breasts touches your waist. But then again, she's flat. I guess it won't get affected by gravity.

And Mary Pierce in all-pink is another bad sight. Granted. This woman has big breasts. But please... enough of shocking pink. Their faces are shocking enough, we don't need double electric shock.

Call me boring but I'm actually grateful for the rigid rules of Wimbledon that players have to wear white. White is classy... but until these players start sporting some ridiculous "cutting-edge" gone wrong tennis fashion.... I wonder what these sports brands designers will come up with this wimbledon season. Hmmm.... Just one little problem with white though.... more tits to see - which I know the guys wouldn't complain.

I don't have to comment on Serena William's hideous "natural sense of fashion" (so she claims). That is in another league of its own. God forbid what sort of "fashion" she's going to wear this Wimbledon season. Shudder.

Then there's design limitations for Addidas which you will see at least two or more players in one competition wearing the same outfit... and possibly the same cap. And it is such fun when two players in the same match has the same ensemble coz you end up having to squint at the miniscule players on-screen and try to figure out... "ok.... who just won the point?"

Can't the sponsors be more generous with their designs and churn out more failing designs?

Then there's golf....

Sergio Garcia - the supposed "best dressed" golfer around, sponsored by Addidas. Flamboyant. Flashy. Ok... so he did an Indonesian flag look on the first day (white top, red pants with matching red shoes... I think). Then he did marshmellow on the second day (pastel yellow top, white pants with matching pastel yellow and white shoes, matching gloves and cap). And back to Indonesian flag again yesterday (red/white top). He is one very co-ordinated Addidas golfer.

Adam Scott - Did the reverse marshmellow yesterday. White shirt, mid-bright yellow pants and matching yellow gloves. Is there no mercy towards bright colours?

Tiger Woods - Notoriously Nike sponsored - everything Nike including his clubs and golf balls. He wore a pink-almost-red shirt on the first day. Sunglass please. Then the biggest joke occurred on the second day which the commentators kept laughing over and called it "wardrobe malfunction". His Nike top was too tight around the right arms so after the first tee-off, he got his caddy to do some emergency shirt-fixing - cutting a hole on the underarm. Bet that shirt must have been Made In China. But still, I'm sure Nike's sales will still soar. The name itself will sell. I have to admit... I'm a sucker for Nike too.

Talking about Made In China.... my only golf glove which is a Mizuno is 'Made In China'. Flip it! It expands after every use. My biggest mistake : Forgetting to check the country of origin. But then again, if I don't compromise at some point and accept the high percentage of Made in China products, I'll be naked. Note : Alot of Nike products ARE (unfortunately) Made in China. Damn again!

Michelle Wie - I don't follow the LPGA but managed to catch a gimpse of her on TV the day before. She's sponsored by Addidas and I have to say, by far, that's the nicest sports attire I've seen in ages. Feminine with a sporty-edge to it. Some white/black halter-like top matched with black skort. She's blessed with nice height and long legs so she carries the look well. But that's about the nicest I've seen.

Annika Sorenstam - sponsored by Cutter and Buck. Okayish... more impressed by her driving stats... averages at 274 yards. Scary!

It doesn't take alot to figure out that the two biggest sports sponsor are Nike and Addidas. For all respect, I think Nike and Addidas do create some nice attires.... FOR MEN. It is apparent that there isn't much respect for women's sporting attire. Has anyone tried shopping Nike and/or Addidas lately?

What's up with all that shit second grade materials they use for women's sporting attire? To start with, the fabric pills like its some rejects bought off flea market wholesale. And have you felt those material? Do these brands really think women will wear any shit? Well... ok. Actually most women do wear almost any shit. I come from this trade. I know it. Amazing the kind of things that sell. So then, is this an exploitation of ladies' retail industry that it is almost impossible to find decent clothes these days? Cheap is the trend I know. But so is cheap quality.

Somehow, it seems like retailers are starting to condone the act of 'comfort for men, crap for women'. Have you seen the nice, comfortable materials they use for mens sports attire? Even the dri-fit/dri-tech/dri-whatever (each brand copyrights their 'dri-' name) material used for mens are so much better! It is exasperating trying to look for ladies' sports attire!

What happened to good 'ol fashion 100% Cotton tee-shirts or polo shirts? Nooo... these days everything is either synthetic and/or flippin' spandex/lycra blends. OK, so alot of women out there likes to squeeze themselves into a top that is one-size smaller and have a river of fats oozing out. But I AM SURE there are alot of women out there who believes in conventional 100% cotton clothes. And so we are stuck with thick, pilling, cheap-shit cotton/spandex (we're lucky if retailers are not that cheap and use lycra but don't bother, most clothes are spandex for cost reasons), corset-fitting tops... and yes... bottoms too. The in-thing are those yoga track pants. Fitted. Everything fitted. Yoohooo... I want to breathe. You know? That thing we need to do to stay alive? Taking in of air and letting it out without my flabs spewing?
There's better luck buying sensible attires from the men's section than ladies. Oh! And has anyone tried looking at Ladies Golf Apparels? Limited edition I tell ya! Apparently in our modern age, we still live in stone-age mentality that golf is a (not-so-)gentleman's game.... Ridiculous. You should check out this one brand though... called Chick Biddy? Or Chickabiddy? Hilarious stuff! I will so be rolling on the greens if I actually do sightings of ladies wearing such outfits. The apparent women's golf fashion trend seems to be Hawaii-Five-O. Aloha aloha! Let's try putting while we do some hula-hula.... and my bola (ball) will go hoo-ha.

Sorry.
Can't help but be corny there.

That's enough Sports Fashion talk for now.
With the number of sports events in a year, I'm sure I'll have alot more to comment.
Let's see how many tits we'll see this year at Wimbledon.
Who needs X-Ray Vision?
The no-bra-all-tits trend leaves very little for imagination.

At least I'll be spared from Hippo-Pink-Cows for the next two weeks!
Thank God for that!

Did I mention that GRUNTING is the latest fashion in tennis too? Yes. I'm not shitting you. GRUNTING with Sharapova at the top of the leader board. Serena William's grunt is just straight road to nightmard.

Here's a funny article on GRUNTING -

Wimbledon referee makes a noise over grunting
Sat Jun 18, 7:25 PM ET

LONDON (AFP) - Grunting noises made by female tennis players as they strike the ball are getting out of hand, and rules should be changed to crack down on the practice,
Wimbledon' name referee Alan Mills has said, according to a report.

Mills, Wimbledon's chief official for 22 years who retires after this week's tournament, which begins on Monday, told The Sunday Times he believed coaches were teaching young women players to grunt.

"I don't like it at all. Today there is probably more grunting than there has ever been," he said.

"If I was playing an opponent making so much noise, I think I'd just laugh. But it's what young players are being coached to do.

"Many of the non-grunting players are unhappy about the noise pollution and a kind of counter-grunt culture has emerged in recent years whereby offended parties ape their opponent's noises."

He added: "Officials can only act if the player is shown to be making the noise on purpose, which is virtually impossible to do.

"As far as I am concerned it is certainly a specific matter that the rule makers should address."

One of the loudest of the modern grunters is defending women's champion Maria Sharapova, who, according to the paper, makes a 100-decibel grunt, roughly the same volume as small aircraft landing nearby. <--- My favourite bit!

- Article taken from Wimbledon referee makes a noise over grunting - Yahoo! News

Someone ought to gag the grunting ladies.
Are we so looking forward to watching Sharapova and S. Williams play or what?!?!?!
Thank goodness we're getting 2 channels of coverage and I can choose NOT to watch the grunting match.

Ok... I lie...

I guess I do want to watch that grunting match...
Just have to put the volume on mute - SERIOUSLY.

Sports definitely ain't the way they used to be anymore.
No longer is sports about the sport itself.
But about trading commodities.
There's always a reason for the existence of Dr 90210.....