10:52 am on a glorious Tuesday morning and my temper is seething alongside the nice HOT weather of 28 degrees celcius. It does not help that I have a zit screaming, "Let me out! Let me out!" I insist that pimple has a conspiracy theory of breaking out at the SAME SPOT everytime. There must be an internal system with flashing arrows indicating, "Pimple bacterias, proceed this way...." Aloha! They congregate at the most painful spot of my lard face - BELOW thy chunky NOSE - and introducing the bitch of all bitches.... Miss Pimple! Then, to tease a little more, that bitch of a pimple resists from popping out immediately so as to cause this pain that I can't see. This is my personal promise. The moment Miss Pimple makes her official appearance, her life will be end.... splattered on my mirror.No.
I'm not that much a bimbo to have a bad day over a damn zit.
It has to be THE family.
Not my family, silly!
The OTHER family.
Yes... THAT family.
Never mind it was 9 a.m. in the morning when the phone calls came through.
Never mind I was sweating my pig guts away trying to sort out my tornado-struck desk (no Tsunami jokes required here).
Never mind I never know what is going on and I get thrown off-balance more often than not.
Never mind - Never mind....
Here's the clue guys - don't ever, Ever, EVer, EVEr, EVER work for a family.
I am sure that if the ideology of 'frequent chest rubbing helps improve breast growth' works, I would be a double-D by now or maybe double-E.
But no.... sorry.... that's a blatant lie.
The only visible physical growth.... my wobbly tummy - watch the overfolds.
- First Phone Call -
Me : "Hello?"
Lil Missy (see section on "The Management") : "Hello...."
"I left phone in the bedroom earlier so by the time I got to it, you've hung up."
"OK... I want to ask what are your plans on going to London?"
"Why????" *raised my left eyebrow*
"Nothing... I was just wondering what's your plan with your Johannesburg buyers.... the Cape Town buyers were here yesterday and they were asking..."
"And what has that got to do with me?"
*retractable claws goes from notch zero to one*
"Well... I was just wondering if you are travelling way before or during Easter. You know we have a long Easter break right?"
"Yeah I know... you want to travel with me this time and you want me to plan Easter so that you can go?
*rolls eyes... dejavu of Easter 2004. Claws goes at notch 1 1/2*
-- FLASHBACK --
Just one of the many examples of family dysfunctionality....
Easter 2004 - We were real good friends for a year. He is a spoilt child, a really spoilt child. A shopping fanatic, that was he is. He was getting dejected with work. He was looking forward to retail therapy at Bond Street, London. I felt sorry for him. So I spoke to THE BOSS about letting Lil' Missy go with me. Boss wasn't too keen on the idea initially as Missy was the key figure in the production area. So knowing his soft spot for his favourite nephew, I cajoled him into agreeing, justifying that Missy needed the break and motivation. Boss agreed on the condition that it does not disrupt his work. That meant the only time feasible - Easter Holiday.
I was tired. I wanted my Easter break so badly. I needed a break.... like REALLY needed a break. Call me stupid - maybe even an idiot, retard... whatever that deem fits - but I decided to forsake my holiday so that Lil Missy can travel. He was ecstatic! Westlife was performing and he immediately booked tickets for the concent. (Yes. Roll eyes now!) We booked the air tickets after and all seemed well. We were jetset for London and Lil Missy was happy....
Then.... alas! Family dysfunctional regime comes into play.
Father's eye (don't know which one) twitched.
Father called back to sister in Taiwan.
Sister went to temple to pray to their God.
Their God said that it was a bad time for Lil Missy to travel.
And that was that!
London plans crashed a million feet underground.
Lil Missy had to stay in South Africa.
It was just me, British Airways and Oxford Street.
And it was MY Easter Holiday.
MY much needed Easter Holiday.
*******************
- Back to conversation -
Lil Missy (Hastily) : "No no no... AND now I go anytime I want. I have given out all my work at the factory"
Me : "When is Easter anyway?"
"Week of the 20th"
"of ??"
"March"
"I am actually planning to travel End Feb or Early March. Why don't you travel with *Divine Miss M* (real identity witheld... NOT Bette Midler by the way) After all, she's such a darrrlliiinnnggg?" *sniggers. Claws at notch 2*
"Nooooo .... (*whines* Then quickly tries to rectify his reaction) I have nothing against her and I think she's okay... I just thought.... you know... normally the main season, the main buying... maybe.... "
"What main buying? I don't do the main buying anymore so seriously, you should go with *Divine Miss M*. You know right? I will only be buying a couple of MEN'S jeans and the rest will be for the shop and all." *gritting teeth*
"Yeah I know. MY UNCLE thinks that I should go London and see the clothes with you."
*Claws jump 3 notches higher... Bubble above head : "F***! Same shit, different day." This is what I mean by getting thrown off-balance. I get told bizarre news as if I oh-so-know what is happening*
"But aren't you going to China/Hong Kong end Feb?"
"Well, if you are going End Feb then I won't go with you..."
"But isn't it YOUR UNCLE thinks you should go??"
"Yeah but..."
(Raises voice) "Then I tell you what... why don't YOU guys decide the dates, let me know and we will plan the London trip from there."
(Hesitant and taken aback) "Errr... ok. I will discuss with my uncle and call you back."
- Second Phone Call : THE BOSS -
Less than a minute later.... phone rings again.
Me : "Hello..."
Boss : "Hi!"
"Yes???"
"Are you done with the *those* logo? We need it to develop the labels and all... Did *Chilli Padi* send you the patch? Did you get the email of the artwork? What do you think of the patch?"
*Claws jumped a thousand notches... to its maximum height*
(Gritting Teeth) : "No. I do not have any ideas for the logo so far. I am actually trying to clean my house. I have been away for almost two months if you remember. And yes, I did get the (mentally : bloody) patch. The quality is just the reverse of our regular back patches. Yes, it is quite nice. I did get the email on the artwork. It is hideous. And by the way, didn't you ask anyone else to try designing the Buffalo logo? What if I design something and you don't like it?"
(Breaks out in chuckles) : "No."
There is this misconception.... this GIANORMOUS fallacy that all designers (regardless of which field you are in) can do all aspects of design. Hello to all you aliens out there..... a fashion designer does NOT necessary have the inclination to do graphic design, and vice versa. And a graphic designer does NOT necessary mean he/she can design a house. But nooo... because Chooey designed the company's logo once means she can design all damn logos. I'm losing the plot here. Like really losing it.... Duh???
Anyway, as the boss always is and always has been, he can host a conversation for hours to come. As I found out, talking is a genetic thing. THE FAMILY can talk. They only stop talking when they sleep. Then again, maybe they talk in their sleep too.
Thank goodness the conversation didn't last too long with Boss rattling off about his business ideas. I was too busy bunching the wires below my desk. Needed distraction before I go overboard with my snaps.
I start to mull AGAIN - Why did I even agree to retract my resignation?
You think I am starting on those damn logos?
Not yet.
I'm pissed off.
That can wait another day.
**************
It is time.... to introduce THE MANAGEMENT.
A Rough Sketch... But you get the idea...
SYNOPSIS OF CHARACTERS :
Boss #1 = Youngest Brother of THE FAMILY/3rd Brother = The "Brain" = Main Head of the Business = THE BOSS.
Boss #2= Eldest Brother of THE FAMILY = The "Hand" = Semi-Retired = Spends most of his time at the garden practising golf.
Boss #2's Wife = The "Cook" = The Peasant = Oversees the packaging department
Bosses' Other Brother = 2nd Brother of THE FAMILY = The "Mechanic" = Owns garage within company's vicinity = all company cars go there for repair = I'm sure part of the company somehow....
Son = Boss #2's son = Boss's #1's nephew = LIL MISSY = The "He Who Should Be She" = Lil Missy = A Shopping Fanatic = Sashays in his stride = Loves Pink = On a 'Gay Checklist', he would pass with flying colours but he maintains that he is straight = Last I heard, apparently he is somewhat running the factory?!?!?! = I've lost the company's plot again.
Daughter = Boss #2's daughter = Boss #1's niece = The "She Who Should Be He" = A Basketball Fanatic = Struts like a lad = Loves Blue = Job responsibility changes every two months = Current post : Production Planner
Trims Sourcer = The "Chilli Padi" (small chilli) = Small but potent = Highly competent but caution! Temper Aflame!
Another Taiwanese = Latest addition to the company = A Girl = handles my orders = does the rest of the scrap paperwork (i.e. bookings, despatch etc.)
Accountant = Just one of the many Taiwanese lingering around = Old, shrivelled and heard the Taiwanese News Network (T.N.N.) lately?
Accounts Assistant = The "Witch" (given by the rest staff) = Slaps on 10 inch worth of make-up = O/D (overdose) on the perfume = The only Afrikaans.
Son's Little Friend = Some girl = I lost the plot on this one too.
Oh! And of course.... er-hem... there's ME. Whatever.
*********************
My Day is so killed.
Bah.
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