Something new, something old...

19-Dec-2009
Rainnnnnn... feel it on my finger tips...

After some $200 fine, 12 demerit points and two months of wondering if I'll ever get my confiscated phone back, I FINALLY got my precious mobile phone back! Woohoo! Not that I am one who is highly precious about my phone.... as most friends/customers/acquaintances would have realised, I'm terrible with my phone and more often than not, I take hours to return a call or message. Why? Because I ALWAYS forget to take it out of my van! But I guess for the phone's easy functionality and *whisper*.... sentimentality, I was really happy to get it back. In a strange way, it feels like my sanity is back and somehow, it seems like I've come full circle for the year 2009. Nice closure to have, I must say.

So twas the season for Christmas songs over the radio and I did not hesitate to change the channel only to hear more. Bummer. Ah well, might as well just leave it on. I am not going to run away from hearing these Christmas songs. And as the music lulled away in the background, my mind started to drift far far away....

Christmas. Dogs.
Last Christmas. Him.
But what did we do? Blank.
Did we celebrate Christmas? Blank.
Blank.
Blank.
Blank.

That startled me. Has it all become so distant? Why can't I recall anything? I cannot even remember if we did celebrate Christmas together. Did we? Blank. Forget it. I'm not going to kill myself over this. Next.

Then I thought of a friend who has very kindly invited me over to her place on Boxing Day. She calls it her annual 'Give Thanks' celebration to friends who have supported her through her darkest moments. Give thanks... hmm.... and self-debate started. Maybe I should send him an email to thank him for supporting me in my decision to do a career switch and for sponsoring my grooming course which has become a contribution to my business. And it stayed at maybe.

And I started thinking about how with the return of my mobile phone, the last of my gone-wrongs have reverted to right. So as I thought of coming in full circle, I attempted to recall the first half of 2009. Once again, more blanks... and blank and blank. All I can remember right now is the second half of 2009 and that's about all the memory I have of 2009! June was like a new beginning. Started from rock bottom in every possible way and single-handedly whipping myself back to the state of sanity. All that pain, angst, disappointments, setbacks, uncertainties, breakdowns, silly accidents and incidents..... it was a struggle on certain days on stay optimistic and convincing myself "it all happened for a reason".

Good days.
Bad days.

But some six months later, things [slowly but surely] did fall into place but of course, the good days bad days will always be there! I can't explain when or how or what transpired but I'll Thank God for everything - good and bad. And believe it or not, I'm actually looking forward to January! Can't wait to have some time to start thinking about my nano-business-expansion-plans. It IS exciting as I never thought that I would be thinking 'expansion plans' some 6 months later. Crazy ideas in my head! One of my biggest struggle is to constantly remind myself to be patient. Mark short goals to work towards THE BIG ONE. So no, not that I'm going to be a millionaire overnight. Just working at it little by little........ every small expansion will eventually lead to something big, no???

Most importantly, I own this - no matter how big or small. It's heck alot of hard work, trial and error, learnings... and time for myself is becoming sacred these days. One of these days.... sooner or later..... it will all be in place.

Glad to have my mobile phone back.
I'm sane again.
The last piece of the 2009 puzzle has been put back in place.
And I guess that's how life works.
Something new, something old...
Something renewed, something.... blank.