Nevermind that I will not be able to make any chronological sense of all my blog updates from here.... I'm not that html snazzy (rather, I'm too darn lazy) to do one of those "click on the dates" thing. Beyond my blogging capabilities! So erm... have fun scrolling all over the place?
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This is mama's second trip to SA so rather than do the usual boring tour, I organised the "Grand South Africa" tour for them - starting from Johannesburg, moving south east to the Kwazulu Natal region (Drakensberg & Durban), and then following the coastal route from the Wild Coast and finishing at the Western Cape, Cape Town as the final destination.
(Click on map for bigger image)Coastal Tour of South Africa
Routes covered marked in Red.
- image taken from SafariNow.com
Actually, before I begin.... I decided that I MUST show one maps to clarify certain things about South Africa. Annoyingly enough, it seems like everyone thinks that South Africa is some god forsaken place and NNNNNNOOOOOOOOO! I don't live amongst animals. And I have not been to Northern Africa so I have no clue if it really looks like what has been shown in documentaries. But please LOOK at the map carefully. SOUTH AFRICA. Yes, it is part of Africa but nowhere in any books did it ever say ANIMAL LAND.
Just for the record, we have to PAY to see the animals at the Safaris.
Note where South Africa lies (there's a reason why it is called SOUTH AFRICA). It makes up a small fraction of AFRICA. No. Nigeria, Kenya, Somalia etc. are NOT part of South Africa.- image taken from The Africa Guide
Fact : Wild animals are NOT my neighbours.
Fact : Tribal men in loin cloth and spears do NOT roam the streets.
Fact : South Africa is the wealthiest state of Africa.
Fact : Modern Technology exists in South Africa.
Fact : I do not live in zinc-box squatters.
Fact : Not all Blacks speak with the clucks. The cluckers are called Xhosa - just one of the many black tribes.
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Itinerary :
- 1st Sep : Johannesburg.
- 2nd Sep : City blahs; Monte Casino Bird Park
- 3rd Sep : Sun City
- 4th Sep : Pretoria (Capital of SA)
- 5th Sep : Johannesburg - Drakensberg
- 6th Sep : Drakensberg - Durban
- 7th Sep : Durban - Coffee Bay
- 8th Sep : Coffee Bay - Grahamstown
- 9th Sep : Shamwari Reserve
- 10th Sep : Tsitsikamma
- 11th Sep : Wilderness
- 12th & 13th Sep : Oudtshoorn
- 14th Sep : Hermanus
- 15th - 18th Sep : Cape Town
- 19th Sep : GOODBYE!!!!
Unnecessary stress.
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Mama and co. arrived on the 1st of September. Needless to say, I barely slept the night before. As usual, housewife-o-me was too busy fussing over endless chores. And ok, I was excited about mama's arrival as well. But the prospect of going inhaling minimal nicotine was a daunting prospect. So as much as I was excited, I was dreading the thought of having to play childish hiding games to sneak in a couple of cigarettes. Face it. I'm a condemned nicotine addict. I will not attempt to be modest and say, "... try to sneak a stick or two". Forget it. For someone who smokes at least 20 sticks a day, it will never be a stick or two.
So once again, like a seasoned tour guide, I stood at the arrival hall of Johannesburg International Airport. Look out for 4 Asian midgets, one of whom is a balding man. Balding man came out first.
Where's mama?
Taking a dump.
Where's the other 2?
Waiting for mama to finish her dump.
Ok.... welcome to the toilet of South Africa.
Post toilet love affair, usual 'tour-guide' routine. Take them back to my place to unload their baggages and freshen up, breakfast at my favourite cafe near my home and then grocery shopping. And herm.... they are serious FRUITS people. Being the gracious host, I couldn't deny them their rights to their Fruits-fantasia. Good God! I've never seen so much fruits in my house before - strawberries, cherries, pineapples, oranges, cherries and God knows what other damn fruits were there. I couldn't bear to open my refrigerator. It was fruit-packed. I cringed as I tiptoed around my fruit-filled house. It was traumatising for the one with fruitophobia (self-invented word). But what else could I do but tolerate it with a smell. Thank goodness durians are non-existent here.
As much as I was disgusted with their fruits craze, they were equally (if not, more) repulsed by my fruit phobia, caffeine indulgence and one-meal-a-day eating habits. I am now officially famous in the family was bad eating habits. I feel sorry for mama. I am certain the family is more than ready to point their fingers and say that mama's upbringing is bad.
But excuse me my spoilt relatives, at least I don't need Tabasco sauce with every meal and sulk when Tabasco sauce is unavailable. I don't toss food around when it is "too oily", "too creamy", "too much", or not cooked to taste. I don't eat seafood like I've never seen seafood in my life. Basically, I am being condemned for not fitting into THEIR perception of 'right eating habits'.
Anyhow, I am certain that mama's going to get the blame for my habits.
So if any one of you actually thinks that this 20 days tour thing was a holiday for me, think again. I was more stressed dealing to the whims of the family than my job demands. It didn't help that the actual tour guide was slack in doing his home work for the tour. So I was constantly on my toes with Mrs Tabasco and her ridiculous mood swings, Mr Henpeck obviously went in whichever mood direction the Mrs Tabasco's went, mama insisting on wanting to share the room with me and mama getting annoyed with Miss Dreamer. I had to worry every single day prior to arrival at destination that the accomodation was up to standard (where possible, all accomodations were 5-stars). To top it off, the tour guide was not very competent.....
Moral of the story with the tour guide :
- NEVER EVER think you are doing a friend a financial favour because the help you render gets slapped right back to your face. Ouch.
- Your instinct is your best guide.
- NEVER mix friends and families affairs.
Anyway, that's day 5 onwards stress blabs. If I were to go on bitching about the tour frustrations, I will never get to finish uploading the photos. Not worth getting agitated all over again so I would rather focus on the brighter side of the tour....
I have fallen in love with this country all over again. Good thing about travels like these, it reminds one of how much natural beauty this country possesses. There's only one reason and one reason alone why I love this country and can see myself settling down in SA. This place is too darn beautiful.
As I always say, "For this spectacular beauty and this beauty alone, it is enough to redeem all other logical reasons for not living here."
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